What’s the biggest stress while planning your wedding? There is no use trying to skirt around the issue. You don’t have to be Einstein to figure it out, yep it’s your budget. Nothing can bring more stress and concern to a newly engaged couple than figuring out out how to pay for their wedding. In this ever changing economy, nothing is for certain anymore. Couples around the country struggle everyday to make ends meet. I want to share with you some of the information I have found to keep the spending under control and leave you and your fiance with minimal debt after you say “I do.”

Create a budget, not a “budget wedding”

There is a difference between having a “budget” for your wedding and having a “budget wedding!” You can make smart choices and still have the beautiful wedding you have always dreamed of. Yes, to do this some sacrifices have to be made, but in the end you and your future husband will be satisfied with the end results. Let’s hash out the terms, “budget” does not equal cheap. What you should be thinking is “budget” equals smart! It is so easy to whip out the credit cards and spend, spend, spend! I could max one out in no time… but where does that leave you? It’s time to be fiscally responsible, and this is the best time to start!

Crunch those numbers

One of the first suggestions made by the experts is to look at your current finances. The estimated wedding cost for 2008-2009 for only 150 guest was approximately $20-$28,000! Most of the surveyed couples were taken form urban and residential areas, but let’s face it… this is where most of us reside! I know my wedding was around this ballpark range, and we are still paying it off! It was worth every penny spent, but I want to make sure others don’t spend beyond their range, because it can happen super fast!

What are your current holdings?

Add up the following monies to see where your starting point is:

1. Both your checking accounts (or if joint account, then your holdings together)
2. Savings accounts (same rules for joint!)
3. Bonds or stock holdings ( add only holdings you can actually cash out, not estimated value!)
4. Any monies that have been offered by friends and family

Now comes the time to figure out how much you can afford as a couple. It seems that these days the bride and groom try to foot most the bill if they can. This is not always the situation though. Our parents contributed significant amounts to our wedding, most families still do. If budget hasn’t come up with your family yet, take the initiative. It is great if parents can contribute, and most feel that they want to. The days of one side paying for this and the other side paying for that is over! Try breaking up costs into aspects like; one family takes church, cake, and flowers, while the other is responsible for the reception and invitations. This leaves you and your fiance with a good idea of what expenses will be out of your pocket.

Now you’re getting closer to developing a “working budget”

I say working because as you plan and begin to drop deposits your budget will fluctuate. At this point it is important for you and your fiance to figure out what your “wiggle room” will be. It may be difficult to do, but try to figure out a percentage (%) you can go over without putting you in the red. Start saving from now until the wedding day. Think about making a “wedding account”, a separate savings account especially for the wedding. You can also take out a low interest credit card designated for wedding charges ONLY! Keep adding money when possible to your wedding account and use it to pay off your credit card. Get organized! Your best budget tools; a calculator, 3 ring binder, and folders. These are your weapons, don’t go to battle without them! Always keep a “running total” so there are no surprises.

Time to make a preliminary guest list

Now that you have a budget established, it is a good idea to make out a preliminary guest list. Your list will change, but you need a basic idea of how many guests to expect. It will help determine where you will be able to have your ceremony and reception. The guest list is difficult, but a professional rule of thumb; stop at first cousins or with relatives/friends you haven’t seen in five years. Another tidbit from the pros, have and adult only reception. My husband and I did that and it was wonderful (even though we did have to bend to accommodate a good friend)! If inviting coworkers, only invite those you are close to. I know it can be hard, but even Emily Post says you aren’t expected to invite the whole office! This goes the same for your wedding party… pick those who are the closest to you. You don’t have to include your cousins because they included you. Just explain the situation, they are still invited but will play a different role.

What style of wedding do you want to have?

Decide what part of your wedding is most important to you. If you want a formal wedding, then plan on spending more for your reception. You’ll probably need to budget more for a sit down dinner and will need a formal reception hall. Be smart and shop around. You may fall in love with the first venue you see, but go look at others to be sure your money is being spent wisely! Know when you have to make your deposit and how much it will cost in total. This is what your working budget is for! Make sure you are adding your deposits into your budget, unless you have money set aside especially for this. Deposits add up quickly, and almost every vendor requires one. Big mistakes couples make is forgetting to add in the “extras”, like bridal party gifts and taxes/gratuities. Did you know that when taxes and gratuities are included it can add up to almost 25% of your total cost? That is a huge amount, so please add them in to make sure you have the appropriate funds!

basic breakdown of the average spending percentages for your wedding

1. Food and beverage (a.k.a. Reception) – 45%
2. Photography/Videography – 12-15%
3. Flowers/Decor – 8-10%
4. Invitations – 8%
5. Music/DJ – 5%
6. Ceremony – 5%
7. Attire (Bride – dress and accessories, Groom – Tux and shoes) – 3%
8. Rings – 2-4%
9. Cake – 2%
10. Transportation – 2%
11. Miscellaneous – 5-7%

Keep organized, especially receipts and contracts!

As you continue to keep account of your expenditures, KEEP your receipts and contracts! You may have everything all organized, but no receipt = no proof of purchase. I know you wouldn’t think any vendor is out to get you, but everyone is in the business to make money. You may run into someone who isn’t the most honest, which is why you need to research and be savvy with your business transactions. Rule of thumb… if it feels wrong, GET OUT! Resources I really like to help keep your budget on track is a “cost of wedding estimator”. It gives you an estimate of what people are spending on weddings in your area. It can be found on costofwedding.com, just type in your zip code and you’ll get results! Other sites we like are weddingdetails.com or theknot.com, where you can download budget worksheets and templates. Plus all sites offer great information to couples who are working with a budget.

Consider a wedding planner

My last thought to leave you with is to consider a wedding planner. They are the experts and know the majority of vendors in the area, plus they have great working relationships with these vendors and may be able to work some “deals”! These professionals can keep you on track and will relieve a lot of the stresses put upon you by having to deal with vendors. Allowing you to relax and actually ENJOY the wedding planning process! Working with a budget can be frustrating and down right upsetting at times. As long as you establish ground rules from the start you should be fine. Good like and hopefully some of these “pearls” will help you along the way.

Images from bridalbuds.com, grtu.net, theweddingguide.com, kellyoshiroevents.com, shefaly.co.uk, cameradepartment.tv, monette.sumulong.com, retailpackaging.com,

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Oh Mom, how we love thee… there are just too many ways! We all call on mom when the times get tough. Mom is there to give unconditional love and support and always seems to have the right answer (even though we don’t always let her know it!). Mom has the pearls of wisdom we seek on more than a few occasions in life. As a women, she provides us the added companionship and support through the awkward years and is a reflection on how we begin to nurture our families. So now its’ your wedding day and you call on her expertise to guide you over the next few months of appointments and decisions for your big day. Even though the wedding planning process is arduous, mom will be there with a big plate of chocolate chip cookies when the times get rough!

Bring on the homemade chocolate chip cookies

Speaking of moms’ homemade chocolate chip cookies provided the inspiration for this blog piece. The word on the street this wedding season is the incorporation of “comfort foods”. You know, the foods we eat for Sunday dinner, the foods we crave in the cooler months or when we need to feel better… mine is mom’s meatloaf! I know, some of you are probably gasping at this comment, but really her meatloaf will always be the best! This year chefs and brides are using these home-spun treats as inspiration for their wedding menus, and I must say they are very intriguing.

An alternative to the traditional h’orderves?

I am seeing a lot of brides and grooms choosing to use these “comfort foods” in a variety of ways; some are serving these foods as an alternative to traditional h’orderves while others are providing a dinner plate, or “Blue plate” specials for sit-down service. Chef’s are taking the traditional comfort foods and adding a “sophisticated” twist! For dinner, they are suggesting gourmet mac-n-cheese with a lobster crumble topping and bacon brown sugar brussels sprouts, individual wild mushroom and pancetta pizzas, and meatloaf with wild mushroom and truffle gravy served with a side of garlic chive mashed potatoes. Anyone hungry yet? All resemble foods we grew up on and love, but are dresses up for a formal dinner!

You don’t have to be throwing an outdoor or less formal wedding to have these foods on your menus, in fact you can use them for any event and for almost all times of day! The worst is when you are at a wedding and you don’t want to eat the food. You don’t have to empty your pocketbook with these alternatives either. Some will be more expensive than others, but you can still choose foods you love without as big a cost. You want beef tenderloin? Fine, have beef tenderloin served on small rolls or on toasted flatbreads. Serve sushi…very chic right now, healthy, and delicious! Plus, it will allow for a wide range of selection; choose from tempura, traditional seafood rolls, or a variety of vegetarian options.

Let your hungry guests munch

If on a budget, choose to have a finger food appetizer reception. Some couples are choosing to have an extended “cocktail hour” allowing guests to mix and mingle instead of the traditional assigned seating. It is a little less formal, but you can keep guests’ appetites at bay with a revolving spread of food and bussed services. Let them munch on mini sliders and fries, soft baked pretzels with dipping sauces, and tempura dipped chicken tenders! Satisfy their sweet tooth by providing a dessert table filled with lemon bars, sugar doughnuts, and apple pie shooters. My husband and I attended a late afternoon wedding with such a reception and it was very chic. The couple still had all traditional events like cake cutting and bouquet toss. After the wedding we hit the local clubs and bars in the area. It was a good alternative to the typical reception activities!

Keep the foods you love close to your heart

Whatever option you choose to go with, you will be sure to have an event that will please even the pickiest of eaters. I love this trend and hope to see it stick around for another season. There are so many yummy selections to choose from and even create! Keep the foods you love close to your heart and share them with friends and family at your wedding reception. It will be a delightfully delicious day!

Images from howto-simplify.com, macheesmo.com, pickycook.com, designspongeonline.com, thevegasweddingplanner.com, foodnetwork.com, ordinaryrecipesmadegourmet.com, manolobrides.com, capetowndailyphoto.com, chicago.grubstreet.com, and cookinglight.com

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Move over cake and hello forgotten sweets! I guess Marie was wrong when she said “let them eat cake”, because now they want a whole assortment of confectionery delights. This year the buzz on the street for wedding treats is the “dessert bar”. Couples all over are setting up huge spreads at their wedding for desserts. No longer will we wonder weather or not to have a slice of cake, now we can just indulge in decadence.

Dessert bar, an over indulgence?

I’m neither pro nor con for this trend, actually rather impartial. I like the concept and think it serves its’ purpose very well, but I still have to wonder weather or not it is necessary? I’m sure people feel the same when I have blogged about my love affair with the candy bar, but at least it can be used for favors for your guests. A dessert bar on the other hand is just that… an over indulgence! Personally I love dessert, so going to a wedding where the couple had a table like this would put me in heaven. I don’t eat wedding cake, and I know a lot of readers out there are like me in this aspect. I ate one bite of cake at my wedding reception… the one my husband gave me!

Do it for your guests!

A dessert bar gives people an excuse to leave their table and meander around the reception. For some this is great, because they don’t dance. So this gives them that chance to get up and move around and interact with others rather than stuck in their chairs. You could still use the dessert bar as a favors for you guests by leaving baggies or boxes by the side of the table, or use it as an end of meal option as a snack until cake cutting. Or if you really don’t want to have a cake, use this spread in leu and make it the most exquisite display of desserts anyone has ever seen! No one says you have to have a cake.

Compensate with a smaller cake

Should you choose to have both a cake and dessert spread, you could always opt for a smaller cake. Place it in the middle of the table as a centerpiece and surround it with confections like chocolate mousse cups, assorted candies, truffles, bon bon’s, mini cupcakes and tortes, candied apples, meringue, mints and s’mores. I’ve even seen a few couples have a chocolate fountain with fresh fruits, pretzels, and marshmallows to dip into the chocolate. Some of the neatest dessert bars I have seen are simple and sweet. The cake in the middle gives great shots for the photographer. Keep it all one color or use a variety of colored desserts. You can keep with your color theme or just pick whichever desserts sound best to you.

When you go to start researching your cake vendors, check to see if they provide other services. Some do cake only, and others will be able to provide a wider range of confections. If your vendor does not offer other treats than your cake, I am sure they can point you in the right direction. You can go to almost any pastry shop and find a wide selection of goods. Treat your guests at the end of the night with a sweet reward!

Images from thesavannahweddingplanner.com, sweetandsaucyshop.com, beau-coup.com, and ilovelollipops.com

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As if the term “Engagement” doesn’t freak men out enough, now we have the Mangagement. The wedding industry never ceases to amaze me on their ability to develop some new scheme to generate revenue. The new plot… engagement rings for men. Now you can mark your fiance before you wed. You can tell women to “back off’ with a “mangagement” ring for him, or if he is moving too slow in popping the question, beat him to the punch! This is a phenom that hasn’t quite developed into a true “trend” yet, and hopefully will not reach that magnitude.

Leave it to Hollywood and celebrities to make the first move. It appears Jennifer Hudson just bought her main-squeeze a ring making their “mangagement” as official as the bling he popped for her. Still, the question remains… WHAT THE? Are we as women really that paranoid? If so, get a clue. If you think a ring on his finger before the big day means he’s more committed, then please waste your money ladies. Infidelity will be infidelity, ring or no ring… it’s the man (or woman) that makes that decision!

Oh girls and boys I need your help once again. Is the “mangagement” ring Hot or Not? Please don’t disappoint me because I want to know!!!

Images from emitations.com and theglobeandmail.com

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It is an honor to be chosen by your friends or family to be a member of their bridal party. You jump at the challenge to help your bride as she sets out making plans for her big day. You are a active member in planning and arranging her shower(s), flowers, favors, bachelorette party, and even are present at her dress fittings. So much time and effort spent to show your bride how much she means to you, but what do you get in return? In past years your gift would be to exhibit a poor fitted, hideous gown to wear as you walk down the isle. A dress that you have a perfect place for in the back of your closet. A dress that truly puts anything your mother dressed you in as a child to shame!

Fear no more you forgotten souls! While the wedding day is still about the bride, the dresses available now to the wedding party are a big step forward from the past. Almost all wedding dress designers are making an effort to produce an entire wedding “collection” including dresses and accessories for the wedding party. Most are creating designs taken from their seasonal runway shows, but adding a “bridal-like” twist. I love the new line Pricilla of Boston has for Spring 2010…very versatile. While satin remains the more popular choice, I am seeing a lot of floral, lace, and net overlays in pastel shades.

Another great thing I am seeing as I research, is a trend spilling over from 2009. Last years’ big trend in bridal party wear was ditching the cookie cutter bridesmaid look. In 2009 brides were saying “NO” to the traditional style where everyone in your wedding party looks the exact same. While men’s fashion really didn’t change too much, the girls evolved in the right direction. The results…a reusable bridesmaid dress. Yes, I said it, REUSABLE!!!! Most designers are keeping styles simple, but elegant enough to double as wedding-wear or a great evening out to dinner and dancing post nuptials! The big look is to choose one color for your girl’s dresses and let your bridesmaids decide the style.

Each girl gets to pick their own dress! This can be a god-send for your bridesmaids. Let’s face it, no one has the same body-type and the same style. Following this trend will allow your girls to feel empowered and in control of one facet, probably the biggest one they care about. Every girl is worried about their image (no matter what they say!) and want to look the best they possibly can. This especially is the case on a wedding day! Allowing bridesmaids to pick their own style and cut of dress will make them feel confident that they look good, making them less stressed and able to help the bride out when they need them the most.

One word to the wise if you choose to follow this budding trend, is to make sure your girls get their dresses from the same manufacturer. Not all shades are the same from designer to designer. Pick a bridal salon that carriers a variety of designers and styles, but make sure all your colors match up…unless that is the look you are going for. A mega chain such as David’s Bridal has a wide selection of styles and colors, affordable prices, and their staff is very helpful. An added bonus…they have an in-house tailor so your girls can come in, get fitted, and leave their dresses there. No fuss and no chance they loose their dress or try any “home” alterations! Weather you choose to stick with the traditional look or go with this emerging trend, keep it simple. If you want to use more than one shade then maybe stick to one style all the girls can wear. Multiple shades and styles may actually work against you. You want to keep everyone happy but don’t want your bridal to be a distraction at the alter. Let’s face it, all eyes should be on you!

Move over Rachel….there is a new bridesmaid in town! Be not afraid ladies, 2010 is rocking fierce looks for the wedding party…dresses that belong in the front of your closet!

Images from theglobalball.com, preownedweddingdresses.com, 3click.tv, and perfectbound.blogspot.com

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This is the second installment we are doing on the “green wedding” movement. Hopefully you enjoyed our first blog , Who new GREEN could be so Yummy?. This time I would like to take the opportunity to talk about your bridal fashion. There are a lot of designers making green gowns, and are relatively affordable (between $600-$2,000). Most designers are literally taking materials directly from the earth. Making their designs from natural materials like; hemp silk, recycled cotton, vintage lace, and bamboo which can be used for structure and to make various fabrics. What a great way to help decrease our carbon footprints. Who knew being eco-chic could be so beautiful!

Does the “green gown” fit your style and budget?

One of the designer sites I came across was threadheadcreations. They don’t have a wide variety, but the dresses available are beautiful. If you are looking for more of a charismatic romantic feel, these are your dresses ladies. Plus, throughout the month of March they are offering and online sale…$100-$300 reduction on original prices. Another designer site I found that I really liked was lunarlife. They are out of South Africa, but are available for online shipping. There may be a currency adjustment necessary but their designs are amazing as well. All natural fibers, pigments , and dyes. For you brides with sensitive skin, but still want color, these sites may be worth checking out!

Budget friendly alternatives, used?

If the idea of buying a green dress isn’t your style or maybe doesn’t fit you budget, there are other ways you can still be “green”. Check out a consignment or secondhand store. They may have lightly used gowns for sale. Check the bridal stores is your area, some may rent gowns for the day and just charge for alterations. Another option to try is a vintage clothing store. Most cities have a few, but buyer beware you will be responsible for cleaning your gowns after purchase. Another potential setback with vintage gowns is sizing. Most range from size 2-10, so it may not work for all body types. You can also borrow a dress. Use your mother’s, sister’s, or a friend’s. If they don’t mind, see if they are agreeable to letting you make alterations. You can use their dress as a shell. Take it to a good seamstress and create your own bridal design!

Don’t forget about the wedding party!

There are a number of ways to go green for your wedding day. You have the same options to choose for your wedding party. The girls can find organic design, rent, or go secondhand. Your groom and groomsman might want to opt for rentals, but organic cotton suites are available as well (I was unsuccessful in finding tuxes though!). If you decide you would like to purchase a new gown, not made of organic materials, you can donate or sell it after your wedding. Any of these options you choose, you are still being eco-chic!

Check online for bridal stores in your area who might carry some organic designs. You might be surprised how many boutiques are carrying green designer lines. Don’t exclude secondhand or vintage design shops. Some of my favorite articles of clothing have come from these shops, there are so many unique finds! Don’t limit your shopping to just your dress, you can find green options for all your bridal fashion needs from jewelry and shoes, to veils and handbags. Take the girls with you and devote a day to shopping. You can tell the ball-and-chain “it’s research!”.

Images from ecostyleguide.squarespace.com, moodboard.typepad.com, and threadheadcreations.com

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I can’t believe it has taken me this LONG to blog on the candy craze, especially since my husband and I used this same trend at our wedding and it was a HUGE success! I L-O-V-E the Candy Bar idea, and it makes a very bold statement when assembled correctly. Your guests will delight when they see the collection of confectionery treats that await them at your reception.

I really fell in love with this trend after seeing it in all the magazines and on almost every bridal show on television. What I learned is that this ensemble of treats played a major role in our reception. As my husband and I ventured around the room greeting our guests, I was amazed to hear everyone raving about the Candy Bar….like it was some unheard of phenomenon. Other than serving as snacks in between appetizers, dinner, and the cake cutting, it allowed guests to mingle and encouraged conversations with other party-goers other than the guests at their table. My husband I came to find out it was the best favor we could have given our guests!

Try out different shapes of containers and placing them on different leveled tiers. The best containers we find tend to be just plain clear glass. Try a variety out. Go to a craft store and start pulling different ones from the shelves. Try mixing and matching them there to get your ideas flowing (just remember, you break you buy!). Choose candies that match your color palate for the wedding. My husband and I used personalized M&M’s in addition to a number of other candies. The options are endless and you don’t have to spend a boat-load of money either. There are a number of discount candy stores online where you can order in bulk! We used little paper baskets from a craft store and personalized them with our monogram and ribbons that matched our color scheme. Check with your reception site, there is a good chance they may have equipment you can rent instead of buying a lot of vases you may never use again. Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Images from chutes and ladders, and halfninja

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Luckily there are many creative minds behind Martha Stewart and many brilliant visionaries hard at work collaborating each issue of her wedding magazine. All designers, pouring their energy into making one of the best D.I.Y. sections of the entire wedding industry. Their “Good Things” section has some great D.I.Y. projects. This season for Summer 2009 they have these wonderful fans that can be crafted for your guests so they won’t feel the full effects of the sweltering summer heat!

“Easy Breezy” is the tag line for these little wonders! You can go online and download all the templates…templates and clip art you need for free. Really….I said FREE!! They also give some other great tips for assembly and other alternatives if you would like to add some extra flourishes. Some suggestions involve hiring a calligrapher to draw a monogram or there is even a link to an artist Julia Swaney in Portland, Oregon who will decorate these fans (at cost). You just assemble.

These fans seem like a great alternative to beat the heat. Put your vows on one side and they become your program. You can also use them as a favor and will be a silent alternative to the flapping of paper fold-over programs, so everyone can hear you and your husband exchange vows! You want the best for both you and your guests. Keep them cool so they have stories to tell of the wonderful food and decor, instead of tales of the heat!

Images from marthastewartweddings.com

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Rest your mind on you big day not worrying whether or not your cake will will stave of the dreaded “slant” before you and your hubby get a chance to cut into it. This trend is perfect for the hip, modern couple who is willing to take chances and break from the norm.

If this sounds like something you are interested in, talk to you baker and explore all the options they have to offer. You’ll have the option of choosing a larger variety of flavor combinations and colors. Mix and match to create a tower of cupcakes that fit your wedding day motif. Have fun with it and be creative!

For more great cupcake inspirations and photos, check out
More Cupcakes Please

marthastewartweddings.com
modernbride.com

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The Spring 2009 issue used these sandwiches as appetizers for an outdoor affair, but I think they are also a fantastic idea for your Bridal Shower. They are so fresh looking and only have 3 ingredients; cucumber, cream cheese, and bread. Just cut, spread, layer, and viola!

As usual the article can be found on their site and the even gives a suggestion for a signature drink to compliment the spread. A good idea to think about if you are working with a budget and don’t mind making the refreshments yourself. Invite some of your best gal-pals over the night before and have them help you. It’s the simple moments leading up to your big day that make some of the best memories!

marthastewartweddings.com

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